Some people are givers. You may know one, or you may be a giver yourself. Givers are typically always offering their talents, time, resources, skills, connections, etc., to others. At times, giving is a necessity if you have to care for a sick or injured loved one. But, we are human, and we have our limits, and that’s when too much giving leads to burnout. Fortunately, there are ways to avoid giving too much of yourself to others.
Set some boundaries. Putting boundaries in place with people in your life is simply saying “no” at some point. You have to figure out where that point is for you, but it’s important to let others know there are lines you won’t cross. That may mean not taking calls or texts after 9PM or limiting how much money you’re going to donate to a cause. If you don’t set some boundaries about what you’re willing to give of yourself and your resources, you may grow to resent able-bodied takers who may not ever offer anything in return.
Narrow in on what you’re good at. The secret to willingly giving to others in a positive way but avoiding burnout is to figure out how you can offer your talents in a way that is meaningful and unique. Maybe you are an amazing cook but are only possess adequate skills at keeping track of your financial budget. In this case, you don’t want to volunteer to help your friend organize her receipts and file her taxes. Instead, offer to bring her dinner for a few nights so she’s freed up to spend that time on her taxes when she would have been making meals for her family. You may still be busy with an activity when you help like this, but it will be in a way that will more likely lift you up.
Recognize when enough is enough. If you listen to your body and your emotional state, you’ll know when you’re about to hit the point of burnout. It’s important to stop giving of yourself before you push yourself into a migraine, exhaustion, or screaming from frustration. If you’re about to hit this point, take a break by starting with something as simple as doing a five-minute meditation, taking an exercise class, or walking around the neighborhood. If your burnout level requires doing something bigger, it may be time for that vacation or to call in for a professional service to take some things off your plate, like a cleaning or meal service.
Giving to others isn’t all bad, and that’s why many people do it. Offering ourselves to others and not expecting anything in return increases our self-compassion and sense of well-being. The key is to strike a balance between giving to others and giving to ourselves so that we don’t reach a level of burnout. The balance we are able to reach is the key to a rich and happy life.
