What it means to heal is different for everyone. Some of us have emotional wounds from how our parents treated us growing up or from rejection we’ve experienced from romantic partners. We also have trauma from abuse or from experiencing illness where we feel like our bodies have failed us. At its core, healing is about reconciling yourself with whatever is in your past. Because healing is so broad and complex, you need tools to help you achieve this healing state. Setting boundaries is one way to give yourself time to process what you’re going through so you can heal.

Boundaries don’t only send a message to yourself, they also send a message to those around you. When you set boundaries with yourself and others, people will grow to understand and respect what are your limits. And if someone doesn’t respect your boundaries, that’s a good lesson to tell you maybe they shouldn’t be in your life (or you should reduce time spent with that person as much as possible.) Boundaries help you heal by:

• Increasing your self-esteem and reducing the doubts about what you’re capable of
• Clarifying who you are at your core, what your values and beliefs are
• Helping you focus more on your well-being
• Allowing you to have more time to devote to your mental health
• Avoiding burnout as much as possible
• Becoming more independent of others
• Growing more of a sense of identity

It’s easy to see the benefits of setting boundaries, but actually having the discipline to draw boundaries is another issue. Here are some tips for setting boundaries in your life:

• Turn your phone and computer off at end of the day
• Generally prioritize your needs above others
• Keep your home and office tidy and organize your calendar
• Take adequate time to rest and recharge
• Schedule time in your day for your sacred rituals (exercise, taking a walk, journaling, doing art, reading, meditating, etc.)
• Work on communicating your thoughts and feelings with others
• Don’t make assumptions about how other people feel
• If you set a boundary, stick to it to avoid compromising when you don’t want to

In a busy world with a lot of commitments to ourselves and others, it’s hard to draw boundaries and know when to say no. You may feel like you will come across as rude or that you lack compassion, among other things. However, to protect your own healing, it’s sometimes necessary to take the risk that people may judge you. You’ll only be able to help more people if you’re whole and healed yourself, so set those boundaries and increase your sense of freedom and control over your life.